So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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