No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
