I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize