i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
