I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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