I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
