Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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