sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
