Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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