White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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