Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
