I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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