just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
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You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
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The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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