Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP