Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?