I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??