yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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