At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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