just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Randomize
