My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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