i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
