i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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