So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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