Having a random hookup so left but love u
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
