the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
