She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
