dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
