I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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