I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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