I smell stomach acid.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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