Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
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