I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
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Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
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I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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