Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
