I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
