Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
