Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm bleeding and have questions
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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