She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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