dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize