don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
