Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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