glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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