I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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