I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
