Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize