Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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