Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
