some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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