you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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