so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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