): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
