i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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