We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
