Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
