5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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