ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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