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• (571): View more from Virginia

  I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me

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• (407): View more from Florida

  My vagina is officially offended.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.

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• (516): View more from New York

  Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids

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