Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
