I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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