My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
