Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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