She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
