Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize