did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
