Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
