The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I need water and some morals
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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