I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
